explosive camping

Went camping with three of my friends this weekend in Morro Bay. It was obviously friggin' awesome, but like most amazing things, you had to be there, so writing about it is futile because it will never really capture how great it was. I am only typing this entry to tell you that I accidentally threw a lighter into the campfire, and it blew up like a bomb, BOOM! I was trying to throw dirt into the firepit to put out the flames, so we could go wander somewhere and drink beer--unfortunately, the lighter was sitting in the pile of dirt I happened to grab. I threw it all in and then saw the lighter sitting there, purple and plastic and completely engulfed in flames. "Shit!" I yelled. "What?" asked my friends. "I need a stick, I need a--" BOOOOM! My friends stared at the (still-going) fire, stunned, their faces covered in ash. The smell of burnt plastic wafted into the air.

It was terrifying and then hilarious.

saving ankles

So up until now, I haven't really mentioned my father at all in this blog. That's because he and I never talk. It's not really a big deal, we get along (sort of), we just don't gab on the phone daily the way my mother and I do. But this morning at 7:20 am, out of nowhere, he calls me from Vancouver, where my family is vacationing. He's been out jogging, he says, and just called to say hi because the view was so breathtaking. Make sure you're careful not to twist your ankles when you run. Okay, that's all, bye, he says, and hangs up.

It's very rare for my dad to do something affectionate, so I thought I'd write it here.

blow me SCOTUS

The Supreme Court is retarded. You can't say segregation is unconstitutional and then keep finding desegregation efforts unconstitutional just because people are still racist and segregate themselves. THAT IS RETARDED.

nostalgia

By this time tomorrow, will be in New Orleans to prepare for the wedding of one of my best friends of all time. It's not even me getting married, and still can't believe this is happening. How did we get here so fast? Seems like only yesterday, we were pitching tents in the backyard, swearing off boys forever and vowing loyalty only to our friends.

Oh wait, for me, that was yesterday, oops.

:-)

:-)

a cranky letter

Dear Cashier,

Hello. If you see me at the grocery store dressed like a total yuppie square, trudging around with my shopping cart at 11:00 pm in 3 inch heels, clearly I did not dress like that just to go for a midnight snack and am actually stopping by on my way home from a realllllllly long work day. And if I couldn't wait till the next day to come, it means I had to buy something absolutely essential, like water or toilet paper, which means I really don't want to be there. So let that be a sign to you next time that I don't want to be asked questions about every single item I am purchasing like, "Oh, microwave dinner, huh? So you live alone and can't cook?" "Oh, People magazine, eh? What's Lindsey Lohan up to these days?" "Why the gum? No time to brush your teeth? Sometimes I don't brush in the morning and just grab some gum, haha." OH MY GOD.

- UB

boys are all talk

So I'm out with three guy friends, watching the UFC tournament (truly the most painful thing I've ever seen), and they're being objectifying and manly, as usual, and laughing at me because I seem bored, and threatening to go to a strip club, which I guess is supposed to be the penultimate form of torture for a girl when she's out with her guy friends. So finally, I said, "Fine, let's go to a strip club!" which was followed by a brief dumbfounded silence and everybody filing into my car somewhat baffledly. We're almost there, when I hear quietly in the back seat, "I don't wanna go to a stripclub..." which led to a conversation (*not* instigated by me) about how it was not a turn-on to watch women objectify themselves to try to make ends meet for themselves and whatever kid they're trying to put through school. So we turned around and went back home.

Inside, I am laughing still.

gasp

oh my god.

i love l.a.

haha

That is the sound of me laughing at myself.

admin exam

:-(