new favorite activity

Self-diagnosing self with internet.

dreams

In my dream last night, I couldn't fit into my dress, so I cried. Even in my dreams, I have mental issues.

manipuLAted

Today, I wasted two hours of my life, because the roads around LAX were apparently built by the same idiots who duct-taped the streets of Boston together, and I got lost. Each minute that passed, I got angrier and angrier because I had no idea where I was, and I was this close to verbally thrashing LA for constantly making driving a torturous experience, when suddenly the road ended, and everything changed. I had accidentally driven myself to the ocean, just before sunset.

Not bad, LA, not bad. You're not perfect. Your rain is less like rain water and more like a polluted ocean dumping itself on top of you. Your highways don't drain the water, so we end up driving through a stream, surrounded by bad drivers going 70 miles an hour against water so thick that we can't see past our windshields. But, if after two hours of driving me batshit insane, you inadvertently lead me right into a post-storm beachy sunset--well, I guess I can deal with that.

word

"For sale: Baby shoes, never worn."
- A complete short story by Ernest Hemingway

The best writing is the simplest.

favorite word of the moment

parasol

sick humor

I recognize this is inhumane and cruel, but I find narcolepsy hilarious.

haha

That is the sound of me laughing at myself.

a great start

I just woke up and accidentally called my cell phone from my house phone, answered my cell while still on the house phone, and had a 30 second confusing conversation with myself. This is going to be a fantastic day.

my oriental eyes

I lost one of my contact lenses, so I went in yesterday to get them replaced. Now, I've always worn gas permeable (hard) lenses because my prescription is ridiculous (about a -12), so I asked how much they were. This is what the doctor said.

"I don't know anyone who wears gas permeable lenses nowadays. I know that people of the oriental persuasion tend to have small eyes--so on that side of the world, they prescribe hard lenses. But on this side of the world, we use soft lenses."

So I'm a little confused. Do I stick to hard lenses on account of my chinky eyes, or do I switch to soft lenses so I can assimilate to "this side of the world"?

I forgive him. He was like 90.

the morning-after conversation (reprise)

This morning, I woke up with the worst kind of hangover--the kind where you still feel the wine running through your veins. I asked my roommate what happened last night. Our conversation went like this:

Me: What happened last night?
Her: You had a few drinks and did nothing embarrassing whatsoever. You acted with complete dignity and self-respect.
Me: Oh great.
Her: There was that one thing, though...
Me: What?
Her: You did hug all of your friends and tell them that you loved them.
Me: Oh that's nice!

Except imagine the total opposite of that conversation.

it's personal

A lot of people ask me why I don't write personal things in here.

Because it's personal.

Duh.

(maybe i'll try to be more personal in the future)

puppy snores

There is a floppy puppy passed out against my leg that is snoring louder than a volcano. I don't blame him--he's had a rough day, after all, what with pooping twice on our rug, pissing in the kitchen, chewing up my roommate's flipflops (shredding is actually more apt than chewing), and humping the leg of one of our guests for a long time.

friday night visits

What I love best about Friday Night Lights is that no one has heard of a phone, email, IM, or facebook. If Jason Street has to talk to Coach, he shows up at his door at 11 pm. No one thinks it's creepy--there is no other way to interact in this universe!

Of course, the practical explanation is that non-face-to-face interactions make for shitty TV.

I guess what's even funnier than Friday Night Lights having only face-to-face interactions is that in real life, the face-to-face interaction is becoming practically non-existent.

darts master

I am soooooo good at darts. Don't even try to challenge me. For I am the master.

negative twelve

Apparently, right now, it feels like -12 degrees with windchill. I will not be experiencing this, because I do not plan to move from my place on this couch, under this blanket, until winter is over. See you in the spring.

all i really need to know i learned from my ex boyfriends

I have decided that I am going to make a movie for my 3L paper. This is possibly the smartest idea I've had since coming to law school. Why not get credit for working really hard on something that doesn't make you want to drown yourself in vodka? Genius.

The question is, what oh what am I going to make it about? I did two documentaries in college, so I kinda wanna do something fictional this time around. But to write a fictional screenplay about the law, am I required to actually know the law? Hmm.

Anyway, this idea made me remember how I got into making movies in the first place--I dated a film major for two and a half years and started copying him. So weird how people leave parts of themselves like that in your life, even if they themselves are not in it anymore. Come to think of it, I think the entire reason I'm in law school is because of a boy. I had this huge crush on this boy when I was 13--he went to a public school (which I, as a Catholic schoolgirl, thought was so hot), had hair down to his chin, and listened to Nirvana. So I, of course, gave up my Boyz II Men CDs and bought all of the Nirvana albums until I was equally obsessed. Long after I forgot that guy, I kept listening to punk rock which turned me into a raging liberal, which made me go all activist, which made me go to law school.

Really, I should go strangle that guy.