a great start

I just woke up and accidentally called my cell phone from my house phone, answered my cell while still on the house phone, and had a 30 second confusing conversation with myself. This is going to be a fantastic day.

a divine chuckle

Often, I think that God is laughing at me.

so much fury

I don't see how I can be expected to get my stupid life together if the stupid weather insists on stupidly pissing all over my day for the next stupid week. I am seriously so annoyed and irritated. This is probably all I will write about for the next four days.

a long-and-coming outburst

Dear Cambridge Weather,

I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HAAAAAAATTTTTTTTE YOOUUUUUUU!!!

Disrespectfully Yours,
UB

the stupidest day ever

Today I slammed a car door on my forehead while I was closing it, and I was dizzy and it was bleeding, so I went to Health Services where they also told me I needed a tetanus shot, so then I got a tetanus shot, and then it snowed, so then I walked home in the slush with a bloody head and wet feet. Also I went to class.

Next day, PLEASE.

(edit: plus apparently it's not spelled tetnus, although it should be)

my oriental eyes

I lost one of my contact lenses, so I went in yesterday to get them replaced. Now, I've always worn gas permeable (hard) lenses because my prescription is ridiculous (about a -12), so I asked how much they were. This is what the doctor said.

"I don't know anyone who wears gas permeable lenses nowadays. I know that people of the oriental persuasion tend to have small eyes--so on that side of the world, they prescribe hard lenses. But on this side of the world, we use soft lenses."

So I'm a little confused. Do I stick to hard lenses on account of my chinky eyes, or do I switch to soft lenses so I can assimilate to "this side of the world"?

I forgive him. He was like 90.

regrets

I went to all my classes today and didn't pay attention for a single minute. All my notes look like this:

March 19, 2007

- corporatism...?
- ...?

Yay.

cravings

AGH I WANT A DOG!!

(sigh)

who i am

I have realized that I am basically Eliot Reed on Scrubs. We are the exact same person.

the morning-after conversation (reprise)

This morning, I woke up with the worst kind of hangover--the kind where you still feel the wine running through your veins. I asked my roommate what happened last night. Our conversation went like this:

Me: What happened last night?
Her: You had a few drinks and did nothing embarrassing whatsoever. You acted with complete dignity and self-respect.
Me: Oh great.
Her: There was that one thing, though...
Me: What?
Her: You did hug all of your friends and tell them that you loved them.
Me: Oh that's nice!

Except imagine the total opposite of that conversation.