My mother tried to buy this statue for our house. My sister, showing wisdom beyond her years, sent me an emergency text message to get me to stop her. Thankfully, we were successful, but I think of what-might-have-been and shudder.
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Saturday, March 6, 2010
indescribable horror
My mother tried to buy this statue for our house. My sister, showing wisdom beyond her years, sent me an emergency text message to get me to stop her. Thankfully, we were successful, but I think of what-might-have-been and shudder.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
neck wrinkles
"Oh my god!" my mother exclaimed as I picked up the phone.
"What?" I asked.
"I just saw this picture of a woman wearing a beautiful dress," she said. "And I thought about how beautiful you would look wearing the dress except then I thought, not if you keep slouching the way you do when you're using your laptop because you will get NECK WRINKLES. Have you been to necklineslimmer dot com?"
"...No," I said carefully. "Mom I don't have time for this right--"
"Go to that site! You don't have to buy it, just watch the information video to see how bad neck wrinkles can be. Listen, you have to start sitting up straight. I can't sleep at night thinking about you getting neck wrinkles!"
"What?" I asked.
"I just saw this picture of a woman wearing a beautiful dress," she said. "And I thought about how beautiful you would look wearing the dress except then I thought, not if you keep slouching the way you do when you're using your laptop because you will get NECK WRINKLES. Have you been to necklineslimmer dot com?"
"...No," I said carefully. "Mom I don't have time for this right--"
"Go to that site! You don't have to buy it, just watch the information video to see how bad neck wrinkles can be. Listen, you have to start sitting up straight. I can't sleep at night thinking about you getting neck wrinkles!"
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