tums are delicious

An abridged version of a fascinating discussion about healthcare:

Friend: i'm on a diet. if i take flaxseed like in a capsule do i have to count the calories?
Me: oh god. if it's got calories listed on the bottle, i guess so. if the bottle doesn't say, it doesn't count.
Friend: no it's like a vitamin shoppe thing.
Me: hmm. well most medicines that have calories say so. like tums. 5 calories a tablet!
Friend: wait. tums has calories?
Me: the delicious kind that i eat do. assorted berry flavored tums. man that shit is good.
Friend: lol. dont eat too much of them.
Me: i only got them bc i was stuck in line at the pharmacy. and i was HUNGRY, and that was the only edible thing i could buy.
Friend: oh god.
Me: and i was pissed bc after i bought them, the warning label said you couldn't eat more than 7 a day, and i was like WTF.
Friend: they are medicine! you shouldn't just eat them like candy.
Me: they are delicious and i was hungry! they shouldn't make them so good then.
Friend: get some candy
Me: there was no candy! i was at the stupid kaiser pharmacy. they should stock power bars or something.
Friend: they make them taste good for the people who have to take them. i get indigestion sometimes. so i keep them in the house.
Me: shit i eat them as a snack. have you had the assorted berries?
Friend: lol no. i get tums smoothies.
Me: the berries are better than the smoothie version.
Friend: i'm not taking it for flavor. i take them when i feel like there's something stuck in my throat.
Me: you are missing out.
Friend: stop eating them immediately. you have to stop.
Me: i just ate two during this conversation. they were delicious.