cleaning lady gone wild

My friend came home to find this amazing note from his cleaning lady:

I just want let you know that, your apart NOW is always a mess and very dirty. We understand you have a dog and roomate, but, really, the apart should be more organized. We so sorry but, we cant do the cleaning by $80 anymore. We together spending 4 hours working hard and we have no time to clean other things like... windows, baseboards, laundry machines, etc... so to do a good job as before, we are raising you from $80 to $100. But, if you agree keep the apart more organized and less dirty, the price can be the same. If not, you are free to decide about! Together, our limit of time working at your apart cant be more than 3 hours. Please think about and let us know as soon as possible!

P.S. we have many americans clients and they dont leave the apart this way, only you!

the price of $100 not is included DISHES never!

My favorite line is, of course, the part about how they have many American clients who don't leave their apartments this way, "only you!" Which is hilarious because I am pretty sure by "American," they meant "white," and neither person living there is white. Once you get a cleaning lady, though, you're pretty close.

new favorite song